National sibling day, I love these four. #siblings #family #fambam

National sibling day, I love these four. #siblings #family #fambam

Zoo lights, it was very pretty.  #latergram #xmas

Zoo lights, it was very pretty. #latergram #xmas

Thanksgiving game with the family #family #smiles

Thanksgiving game with the family #family #smiles

An ac unit attached to the back… #htx #houston #texas #riddindirty #imdone #ratchet

An ac unit attached to the back… #htx #houston #texas #riddindirty #imdone #ratchet


53 Jokes in Four Minutes (vlogbrothers)

  • http: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTR2tVr2a6A&list=PLMs_JcuNozJZstw4AOZSQ9eBct8Rc7Me3
  • 1: What do you call a 5-foot physic who's escaped from jail?
  • - a small medium at large
  • 2: Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
  • - cuz she grew out of her B shells (C shells....)
  • 3: What concert costs 45¢?
  • - 50 cent. featuring nickelback
  • 4: How did the hipster burn his tongue?
  • - he drank coffee before it was cool
  • 5: What is invisible and smells like carrots?
  • - rabbit farts
  • 6: What do you call a fake noodle?
  • - an imPASTA
  • 7: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
  • - about halfway
  • 8: How does Jack Frost get to work?
  • - by icicle (bicycle)
  • 9: Why did the face of Bo go to the party by himself?
  • - cuz he had nobody to go with
  • 10: What do you call a fish with no 'i's? (eyes)
  • - a fish
  • 11: When I found out my toaster was not waterproof I was SHOCKED
  • 12: How often do I make chemistry jokes? Periodically
  • 13: I actually told one just the other day. There was no reaction.
  • 14: My boss, he told me to attach two pieces of wood together. I totally nailed it.
  • 15: If the mushroom was such a fungi (fun guy) why didn't they have the party at his house?
  • - Cuz there wasn't mushroom (much room)
  • 16: Why did Cleopatra fall off the swing?
  • - Because she's dead.
  • 17: What's orange and sounds like parrots?
  • - Carrots
  • 18: A spider just crawled under my keyboard! Okay, I think it's under control. (you get it cuz control's a key...)
  • 19: What does Gary Numan want to be when he grows up?
  • - Gary Oldman (everybody wants to be Gary Oldman, though)
  • 20: What's Michelle Obama's favorite vegetable?
  • - Yeah it's broccoli! BARACKOLI
  • 21: What are the strongest days of the week?
  • - Saturday and Sunday. Cuz all the rest, they're weak days (weekdays)
  • 22: What do you call a pretty woman on the arm of a banjo player?
  • - A tattoo
  • 23: My friends and I put on a performance on puns. It was basically a play on words.
  • 24: Why do the French only use one egg per omelette?
  • - Cuz in France, one egg is enough (idk)
  • 25: What did the shy pebble wish?
  • - Just that she was a little boulder. A LITTLE BOLDER
  • 26: Did you hear?! David lost his ID in Prague! Now we'll just have to call him Dav!
  • 27: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
  • - Because 7 has cold dead eyes
  • 28: What do you call a pencil without lead?
  • - Pointless
  • 29: What is Bethoven's favorite fruit?
  • 30: How do you make an octopus giggle ten giggles?
  • - You give him ten tickles (tentacles)
  • 31: Knock knock.
  • - Who's there?
  • Interrupting owl
  • - Interrupting owl---
  • WHO!
  • 32: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
  • - Because they have big fingers
  • 33: Which side of the chicken has more feathers?
  • - The outside
  • 34: A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?"
  • 35: and the horse says "I'm finally realizing that my alcoholism is driving my family apart
  • 36: What do you call a man who shaves 20 times a day?
  • - a barber
  • 37: What did one eye say to the other eye?
  • - Between you and me man, something smells.
  • 38: Never trust an atom! They make up everything!
  • 39: I took the shell off my racing snail cuz I thought it'd make it a little faster. If anything, it seems more sluggish.
  • 40: Why did the Dalek cross the road?
  • - to enslave humanity
  • 41: What do you call Santa's little helpers?
  • - subordinate Clauses
  • 42: What did the hat say to the hat rack?
  • - You stay here! I'll go on a head (ahead...)
  • 43: Why was the broom late for work?
  • - Cuz it overswept!
  • 44: *valley girl voice* did you hear? Oxygen magnesium are totally going out. its like OMG
  • 45: Did you hear that the two antennas got married? I heard the ceremony was terrible but the reception was awesome!
  • 46: What's E.T. short for?
  • - So he can fit on his spaceship-duh!
  • 47: Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!
  • 48: My grandad had the heart of a lion! And a lifetime ban from the Bronx Zoo!
  • 49: Sherlock, what do they call primary school in America?
  • - Elementary, my dear Watson.
  • 50: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
  • - Because the 'p' (pee) is silent
  • 51: A golden retriever and an Irish setter are on vacation. The Irish setter says to the golden retriever: "Man, I just met two Brazilian dogs!" And the golden retriever says: "Woah, how much is a Brazilian?"
  • 52: How do you cook toilet paper?
  • - It's easy, you just brown it and then you throw it into the pot
  • 53; Two whales were walking to a bar and one of thems like: "ooooooooooooooooooh" and the other one's like: "man, steve go home! you are drunk!"
  • #youhavenocluehowlongthattookme
Rooftop status #downtown #houston #texas #niceview

Rooftop status #downtown #houston #texas #niceview




#tbt #throwbackthursday Emma was tiny enough to sit on the table #babygirl

#tbt #throwbackthursday Emma was tiny enough to sit on the table #babygirl

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